| Calling all sleepless caregivers. You know who you are… |
You know you feel awful when you don’t get enough sleep, but here’s something that perhaps you didn’t know: Feeling bad is not the message of insufficient sleep; it is only the messenger. The actual message is a lot more serious. Carol O’Dell lays it out in plain English in a blog post entitled 5 Signs of Dangerous Caregiver Stress and Sleep Deprivation. This is the sort of thing that really gets my attention because I’ve experienced difficulties with sleep off and on for most of my life. The point, of course, is that if you’re a full-time caregiver, you don’t have to have a history of sleep difficulties in order to find yourself sleep-starved and stumbling around like a zombie.
The serious news is that the health consequences of long-term sleep deprivation (for caregivers or anyone else) are numerous and severe, sometimes even deadly. They cover a wide spectrum of health issues, including anxiety and depression, chronic illness, substance abuse from attempts at self-medication, conditions that arise from a depressed immune system, and premature death! The expression “No good deed goes unpunished” is supposed to be an ironic joke, but it can be a literal truth for stressed out caregivers who don’t take care of themselves.
You really have to find ways to get the sleep you need, but other people aren’t always sympathetic. Decades ago, for example, when I was a high school student and for the first time seeking medical help for my sleep difficulties, I ended up with a doctor who patted me on the shoulder and said, condescendingly, “Nobody ever died from lack of sleep.” It was unkind, unhelpful and irrelevant. It’s true that you won’t die today just because you didn’t sleep last night. I, however, wanted relief from a condition that was making me miserable and had left me barely able to function.
If I had been responsible for taking care of someone at that time, I wouldn’t have been able to do an adequate job. If I had taken that doctor’s dismissive remark as the last word on the subject, I might not be alive today. Dramatic? Maybe a little, but I’m trying to emphasize the point that insufficient sleep over a long period is serious. Try Carol’s suggestions in that post linked above as your first step in trying to get some rest. If they don’t work, talk to a doctor. If s/he smiles tolerantly and informs you that “Nobody ever died from lack of sleep,” reach for your coat, state that you don’t pay for worthless advice, and go find a real doctor.
Good luck and sweet dreams.
» Share This Story
Tags: none
There are 5 Responses to “Not Getting Enough Sleep? You May Be a Caregiver”
#2 Pete - 23 January, 3:27 PM
Wow, Terri! What an incredible story. Thanks for sharing it. If you don’t know about this book, you should check it out to savor over that restorative morning coffee.
#3 wendy - 30 January, 4:51 PM
Boy, this one sure hit home. Do Caregivers ever get enough sleep??
And some days I wonder if all I ever do is worry. Doesn’t make for a restful night - the worries just don’t go away.
#4 LaVeda H. Mason - 30 January, 6:33 PM
So true!
The thing that really makes it difficult, is that people don’t realize, in a visceral way, that you are exhausted… especially if you look ‘normal’. And if you complain about being exhausted, well, you ‘can just sleep in’, because you ‘don’t have a job’. Which, we all know, is not true. Caregivers need a guild, I think :)!
Terri D. - Kudos to you for having the wisdom to take care of yourself!!
#5 Aunt - 10 March, 3:35 PM
After 8 months of driving 12-14 hours between CA and WA to be a 24 hour caregiver up to 17 straight days, I found out just how exhausted I was. For the entire month of January, I could not get out of bed at a decent hour. I was fatigued. I had stayed alert and ready to take on my duties because I had to during my caregiving. But what a letdown. It has affected my weight, appetite, and mood. I have been reading a lot on Caregiver Stress Syndrome. I am sure I am experiencing such a malaise. People need to remember to care for themselves.
#1 Terri D. - 23 January, 11:23 AM
I am a primary caregiver. My husband, who has MS, is now a quad, with a trach tube feeding tube, and urinary catheter. It has been an adventure for the past 25 years, and our family doctor quips that I am earning my degree one crisis at a time. My husband was put on a ventilator at night a little over a year ago. I became so exhausted, I thought I had a heart condition, and went to the doctor for stress tests. My body is still just fine, thank goodness. But I needed to take care of me, if I want to be a caregiver, and live through this to be a merry widow.
We are blessed to have found two nursing students who come at 6am and do the two-hour morning shift I used to do, so if it is a bad night, I can sleep in, and if not, just enjoy my coffee, stare into space organizing my day, read inspirational writings, whatever! We are "spending down" to pay for the caregivers, but it is worth my life today. Who knows what tomorrow brings!