| Some of the things they might warn you about in a school for caregivers… |
This post isn’t about global warming or recycling or hugging trees. Instead, it’s about the environment a caregiver has to live in. Most of this will seem pretty obvious when you read it, but a lot of people jump into caregiving without giving it much thought.
The basic principle is that the caregiver has to live in the environment that best suits the care recipient. Over time, the caregiver can drift into living the same life as the care recipient—except that the caregiver has to do all the work. In practical terms, this means that:
- if Grandma is always cold, the house will always be warmer than you like (maybe a lot warmer).
- if Uncle Joe is hard of hearing, the TV will run much louder than you want it, and you won’t be able to escape the soundtrack of Uncle Joe’s programs anywhere in the house.
- if Dad can’t or simply won’t eat spicy foods and you don’t want to fix two different meals, you and other family members won’t taste your homemade tacos again until your caregiving duties end.
- if Mom requires oxygen, you will hear the endless putt-putting and hissing of the oxygen machine around the clock. When mom is awake, you will constantly be unsnarling the oxygen line, and you will worry that Mom will trip over it every time she gets on her feet.
- If Aunt Bessie is an extremely early riser, you will gradually give up your evenings and go to bed earlier and earlier in order to get enough sleep.
Obviously, the list could be longer, and every situation will generate its own list. The point is that every item on such a list is stressful for a caregiver. The effect of the stress is cumulative, although you may not even be aware that you are experiencing stress. Remember that when you provide eldercare, these forces are always at work. If you don’t guard against them, these environmental stresses can overwhelm you in such a way that you won’t even be able to explain what’s wrong.
» Share This Story
Tags: none
There are 2 Responses to “The Environmental Stresses of Caregiving”
#2 Pete - 16 November, 7:57 PM
Thanks, Wendy! Link away!
#1 wendy - 16 November, 6:31 PM
Oh boy, does this ever ring true! I have been experiencing the environmental stress you describe since I am looking after my husband who has COPD. It seems everything revolves around him and his illness.
That is not meant to sound unkind. I am sure he’d love to change places with me. And I know I wouldn’t want to be the one who is sick.
It’s recognizing that as a Caregiver, you adjust your body to your “patient.” You adjust your daily life to meet his needs.
I was feeling pretty tired and “blue” about everything and then I got a cold. To make a long story short, my husband’s son (who happened to be visiting at that time) took over his care and allowed me to rest.
During that period I realized just how much of hubby’s life I was living and how much of mine I wasn’t.
So now I prepare 2 different meals. It really doesn’t take much effort, but I need to look after my own nutritional needs too.
I like to do my exercises early in the morning. Hubby takes hours to get going in the morning. So I would wait until he took his afternoon nap to do anything for me. Now I just get up and do my thing, while he does his.
It was really important for me to recognize that I needed to be me too!
Wendy
p.s. - would love to put a link to your blog on mine. Is that o.k.?
http://caregivingisnotforwimps.blogspot.com
I feel much better and I am sure hubby can feel my stronger energy level.