As a top, your primary duty is the safety of your sub. This is first, foremost and absolutely necessary. After all, the mantra of BDSM is “Safe, sane and consensual.” Notice the first word is safe; your sub or bottom depends on you to lead them while in subspace. Because of this, balancing the desires of your sub’s thresholds and your own desires to slowly increase them is a delicate dance. To mark or not to mark is an eternal question; one you must agree upon before beginning a spanking scene.
Leaving marks is simple enough; however, leaving marks that will fade in a short time is a much more difficult task. If you are a professional with clients, it is often not wise to leave marks that will not fade for some time. As a lover in addition to a top, your sub may simply not want marks. If either is the case, it is not your decision to leave marks; respect the wishes of your sub.
A good, firm spanking is an excellent rush while experiencing the rush of endorphins. While some who are not in the scene see spanking as a punishment, the scene understands it is not always the case. Some subs crave spankings, and a decent top can deliver not only a firm spanking but also one that will leave a sub desperate for another. It is such a delicious paradox, the pain and the pleasure of a ripened rump from a firm spanking.
The secret to a good spanking and marks or lack thereof lie in the choice of implement. One of the finest implements to use, is not expensive and will deliver a firm spanking that all good doms and subs crave is found in many homes. In fact, this practically ubiquitous item is frequently overlooked as a BDSM tool; it is a blade from a ceiling fan.
A ceiling fan blade is ideal for many reasons. Marks on a sub come from a combination of factors. Force is only a single factor; the width of the implement is also a factor. This is why a caning will leave marks for such a long time; the thin diameter of the rod or cane applies a great force across a small area and will leave marks unless very careful. The width of a ceiling fan blade allows for a firm slap but yet will not leave marks for an extended time. Additionally, the length of the blade will cover a larger area on the sub’s backside: This will more evenly distribute the force of impact across a greater area. A greater area with a larger surface will still achieve a purpose but without marks.
Regardless of what you use for a spanking, please remember the three words: Safe, sane and consensual. It cannot be one or two; it must be all three.
Here are some fantastic resources if you want more spanking information: