Sometimes it’s easy to miss. You’re looking right at it, and you don’t see it for what it is. Maybe that’s because elder courage doesn’t come up in the context of Rambo-style heroics.
When my wife’s mother Betty wanted hip replacement surgery, for example, she was told she wasn’t “a good candidate for the procedure.” Meaning that she had other health issues besides the hip. Meaning that the calculus of risk would be very different for her than for a patient in good health otherwise. Meaning that for her the operation could be life-threatening.
Betty’s own calculus concerned itself with quality of life. Without the hip replacement, she was mostly house-bound, some days practically chair-bound. Her doctor explained risk after risk to her. Betty listened to it all, then finally said, calmly, “I don’t want to die, but I’m not afraid of it. I want that hip surgery.” That was it.
Take a minute right now and see if you can imagine those words coming out of your own mouth. Such matter-of-fact indifference to life and death odds because one has different concerns is elder courage in a nutshell.
It’s easy to admire elder courage, but first you have to learn to see it.
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There are One Response to “Elder Courage”
#1 Medical Girl - 11 October, 2:19 AM
i commend your courage. I hope we can help! medical alarms